TN50#133, Have You Named Your Personal Judge, 02 October 2023

Hi Team,

Do you have a personal judge that pops up unannounced from time to time?  One that gets all nasty and tries to keep you down.

ME TOO!  I’m getting better at catching mine and putting her in her place very quickly.  If you caught that I called mine a “her” don’t worry, I’m still all man baby!  It’s simply that I picture my internal judge as Judge Judy because, well, it’s funny.  Little Judge J. standing on my shoulder telling me I’m stupid, I don’t deserve it, you get the picture.  I try and laugh at myself and especially my useless thoughts as often as possible.  You should try it!

Happy Monday and welcome to The Next 50 #133.  I like to think of personal performance in 3 components: physical, mental and emotional.  My frameworks focus on 4 Buckets: Eat, Sleep, Move and Think.  This blog is my sandbox for sharing information that you might find useful for your personal performance.

I’m bringing up my little judge because I won an award, and when I found out I was selected Judge Judy went right to work.  This will make more sense in a few paragraphs.

Here’s the sweet video that Douglas County Community Foundation (DCCF) built to introduce me for the award.  ***Thanks to Sam for the nomination and the great testimonial! ***

I was told I had 3 minutes to say thank you.

***Here’s my speech:

Hi, Marco said I only have 45-minutes to say thank you so I printed out my comments to stay on track and because I don’t want to mess up my navy seal joke.

Alright, Let’s GO!

Thank you DCCF, I believe I speak for all of this community when I say, thank you, we appreciate your recognition and support. I’d also like to thank all of you for this award, it’s allowed me to uncover some interesting thoughts regarding my service– these thoughts surprised me so let’s talk about them! Some of you may relate.

On Friday evening, September 1st, I was notified by email that I had been selected to receive this award. As I read the email, here’s the thoughts that sprang up:

  • You don’t deserve it
  • You’re not good enough
  • There are people who worked harder
  • There are people who sacrificed way more

All that in just a few seconds.

Now I’m a Coach and I teach my clients to recognize useless thoughts so I caught it and I got quiet and sat with all of it. Logically I knew that I shouldn’t feel SHAME. Even though many veterans did work harder and sacrifice more than me.

You see I also have a million positive thoughts and memories from my 25 years on active duty, I’ll share 2:

  1. On the whole I loved my career, the mission and the people were amazing and I would do it all over again, AND
  2. If I were a Navy SEAL, I could write 2 books and start a beer company just on the crazy crap I lived through in training, don’t even get me started on the 10 years of combat.

AND THAT THOUGHT, made me smile and was supposed to make you all laugh so please laugh even if you don’t get it.

Talking Smack is art form in our community. It’s how we show love and respect. You have Army VS. Navy, Marines against Everyone; Ask any of these Police Chiefs about their favorite joke and it will involve a Fire Chief…

Ok, back to serious. A lot of you can relate to the useless thoughts loop; you do good, someone pays you a complement, you immediately go negative on yourself:

  • I don’t deserve it
  • I’m not good enough

Why do we do that?

It’s complicated, right? So here is one piece of advice I’d like to give all of you:

DO NOT BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU THINK, especially when thinking negatively about yourself. A lot of us do it, and we need to investigate those thoughts.

NOW, and MORE IMPORTANTLY IN CLOSING, we have to practice the right way. You ALL are going to get some complements please receive them positively.

To all you Police Officers out there. Like the ones who were very nice when they stopped by my house to tell my beautiful wife not to be mean to the neighbor over what I like to call The Crazy Cat Hater Incident of Terrain Neighborhood; Thank you

To all the other First Responders out there. Like the crew from CR Fire Department that showed up late on Thanksgiving Night to help an Army Vet wild-eyed with pain laying on the basement floor; Thank you

To my fellow Veterans out there. Like the old Army Cannon Cocker, I spoke to last month as he was hobbling around the block a couple days after his second knee replacement surgery and still on active duty; Thank you

One more, Last one. To all of the families and friends: the wives, husbands, daughters, dads and besties who put up with our crazy jobs; like my wife, Carly. Thank you, we couldn’t do it without you.

Thank you.

***End of Speech

I’ll ask again: Do any of you all have that little judge like me?  Name him or her and make it a funny name so that when you catch the little bugger eater you can quiet them down quickly AND have a little laugh.

As always share the post with your team and anyone who might find it useful and let me know what you think!

Have a good one, Alex

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*** No SEALs were harmed in the making of this blog post or video.  Sam, like a lot of civilians, only knew about “Navy SEALs” when we met – I know, I was surprised too.  I have answered a lot of questions about Army SOF vs. Navy SOF in our time together.  Again, good job Sam, you remembered most of the details correctly.  ***